Do I hate Christmas??

until last Christmas every one since 1983 , has been spent alone, on Christmas morning.... There are many reasons to hate Christmas, and mostly its a sad time , both depressive and introspective for me ... Hate is such a strong over bearing word, there have not been as many good Christmas days in my life. Perhaps that is why , I find it hard to appear happy ... Or to pretend I love the day... But NO! I don't hate it . I just miss so much.... During this time of year