Revelations

Resolutions , little promises made of accomplishing things you never intend to do.. Every one makes them but alas, few if any ever achieve them.. Instead we should call them "New Years Revelations"... Little revelations of things we wished we could achieve but realize , we are not yet capable of...Time to be truthful with ourselves , because we are not fooling any one else ! Perhaps ourselves . This year my revelations I set to a higher standard . I will achieve a small fortune and become semi famous for what I have yet to discover... I will see all my friends with in the community achieve all their goals , and full fill their greatest desires.... I will get a grey pony ! ( well that's another story)... But what I most wish is that someone some where has a "Happy New Year".... I'll get back to you on this one ...

Struck Between Holidays

Twas three days after Christmas and all through out the house not a creature was stirring it was as quiet as a mouse. When suddenly did I hear a racket loud and clear , a hacking and coughing sounds that filled the whole air... I rose to see what's the matter , to discover without shock..That cold and flu season had finally struck... And loved ones ( well my girl any way), had surcummed to the fate.. When weather turns cold and Holiday Cheer is rampant..It's this time of year , comes the illness , something which we all fear... So HO HO HO it's the Holidays again , and with all those presents of surprise, came a bonus gift too!!!! Happy Holidays to all and a shelf of Thera-Flu ....(smile)..

Do I hate Christmas??

until last Christmas every one since 1983 , has been spent alone, on Christmas morning.... There are many reasons to hate Christmas, and mostly its a sad time , both depressive and introspective for me ... Hate is such a strong over bearing word, there have not been as many good Christmas days in my life. Perhaps that is why , I find it hard to appear happy ... Or to pretend I love the day... But NO! I don't hate it . I just miss so much.... During this time of year

Holocaust revisited..

The rise of George W Bush and the religious right wing to power, a moral crusade . Parallel to that of the German youth and their leader Hitler. A quest against the "Homosexual Agenda!". The first "Victory!!" , the denial of basic human rights , denial of the values of marriage ( financial only)... Cast the souls of the sinners to the fires of hell for loving someone of their choice , in private , or even with open honesty to friends and family about the true nature , as god given right ? To be yourself, be who you were meant to be in the grand plan of life...Some would claim this blaspheme from my finger tips and mind. Yet can any of us really deny, that its happening ??? Are we far from interment camps (ie: prisons ) , for those practicing the "Homosexual Agenda", can it be long before the thought police , who seek to rid our bedrooms of any activity they do not. And won't condone for themselves..Start imprisoning same sex / bi/ poly couples for loving each other..Something only reserved for Homophobic, heterosexual married couples...Under the guise of the patriot act , they are even now gathering names on a list . A list of the next generational exclusions from the "Superior Race". When does the mandatory sterilization of queer folk begin??? Has it already?

Murder or not?

Pro life , Pro choice, anti abortion...Where ever your stand, when does life really start? A recent email discussion of Upex mail list, centers around the thought that birth control and abortion are both forms of "Murder". The dictionary states mur-der n. The crime of unlawfully killing a person. Slang something very dangerous, difficult, or uncomfortable. v. to kill a person unlawfully and with malice. Lets begin with the first part (killing a person) , this being the case , then birth control of any type can not be "murder" because till life is actually formed a person does not exist! At this point then we are left only with the decision of when life actually begins? I suppose abortion could be termed as "with malice" , but in many cases it is for medical reasons, and the eventual health of the birthing mother. For many whom struggle with their own moral issues , this is where the "dangerous, difficult, and uncomfortable " part comes into it all. Religion is suppose to instill morality and give one security , if you believe in a "divine" plan or being , looking over your life and steering your journey in the right direction...For me and many others seeing is believing, and being responsible for our own direction, knowing our path may not be that of the masses.

Fattening the sheep for slaughter

Utahns are battling excessive weight caused by genetics, life- style, eating habits or some combination of these factors. One in every four children in Utah age 5 to 14 is either overweight or at risk of becoming overweight. And many of these children have a parent who is overweight, too. Consider this: More than 20 percent of Utahns in the "parenting age group" 35 to 44 are over weight; more than 15 percent of those ages 25 to 34 are over weight. Having one over weight parent can triple the odds a child will struggle with weight as an adult. But more than genetics is at work here: Like their parents, children consume too much sugar, fried and refined foods and don't get as much exercise as they need. Health problems once largely the bane of adults: Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, liver disease and cardiovascular disease - problems that are likely to also plague them as adults if they can't get their weight under control. It won't be long till the Dominant faith has all their heard ready for slaughter...Glory and Victory to the Republicans they have captured more of the state of utah with the direct help of the LDS Church...What a Tasty meal for nuclear radiation and corporate greed..

Needle Play

Needle Play is the SM technique of consensually inserting needles underneath the skin for erotic pleasure. It is appropriate to follow all safety precautions when engaging in needle play, else serious injury may occur. Always purchase sterile needles, and not reuse them after they have been used,dispose of needles in a sharps container. Most medical supply shops and drug stores will sell sharps containers, and will tell you where they should be disposed of. Some states allow one to purchase needles without a prescription. I have found and excellent site for beginners http://playpiercingkits.com/ ( not for the faint of heart).To aquire supplies for needle play. The smaller the gauge, the larger the needle diameter. Common needle gauges for play piercing are 25 through 18. Different gauges of needles have different color hubs, but these colors are not consistent across brands. On the needle package, the needles are commonly identified first by gauge, and second by needle length (in inches). Thus, a package labeled "25 1 1/2" would contain 25 gauge needles with a length of 1 1/2 inches. The plastic disposable protection around the needle is called the sheath. The plastic portion permanently attached to the needle is called the hub. You shouldn't attempt to resheath the needles, as this can be hard to do without sticking oneself (actually, you should be careful about unsheathing as well). Practice can be done on fresh fruit or chicken breasts...( or willing subs *weg*) The basic idea is that the needle should travel just underneath the surface of ordinary skin, to emerge through the skin a short distance from where it was inserted. The needle tips have a bevel. With regard to the skin being pierced, the bevel may be up or down (it's personal preference);

Shallower = More Pain

Larger Diameter Needle = More Pain

The surface to be pierced should be disinfected first. There are three types of substances that may be used for this:

• Iodine - this is opaque (which may be a problem) and shouldn't be used on someone who is allergic to shellfish.
• Alcohol - this should be 70%-90% rubbing alcohol (isopropyl). One shouldn't use it on someone who is on antabuse.
• BAC - these kill a broader spectrum of pathogens than alcohol, and allergic/ irritation reactions are rare.

Allergic reactions (distinct from irritation) are characterized by pale skin, sweating, localized redness, and asthma-like symptoms. At some play parties, it is required that one cork the tips of needles. This is not always easy to do without sticking oneself, though. The black corks can be autoclaved.

Some people like to spray the area with their disinfectant of choice and/or apply a gauze bandage after the piercing.

Some people prefer to wear latex or nitrile gloves as they do needles, and to use the needle sheath to press down the skin in front of the needle as it is going through so that their hand or finger is not in the needles way. Although most gloves will not protect you should you stick yourself with a needle, they can protect your hands against any blood (of uncertain infectious status) that may flow from skin punctures.

The primary danger in needle play is infection. Be sure that the person you are playing with would recognize the signs of infection should they occur, and if so to go receive proper medical care.

As for the play itself, be sure that the person is comfortable and perhaps have them take a deep breath before you insert the needle. Have them slowly release it while the needle is inserted,and be sure to check in with them regularly, just to make sure they are still ok . Make sure that they are not faint or going pale. Shaking is another sign that they are being flooded with hormones and neurotransmitters and maybe need a breather before continuing. Be careful of shallow piercings especially if you intend to leave them in for a bit, they can easily be ripped out or tear the skin. Bleeding can and probably will occur, so wear gloves. Remove the needles slowly when you are finished, and watch for any bleeding. Make sure that you don't leave them unattended. After care is very important with this type of play, looking for any signs of shock, their metal status, and further bleeding.Now there are still a few safety issues to cover. There are some areas of the body that aren't recommended to use for this type of play. You should not try piercing the wrists, hands, any internal organs , eyes or the spine. It is also not suggested to pierce the armpits, sternum or areas of the body that contain many veins. I am not sure that I specifically agree with that, as the vagina lips are very venous, and that seems to be a place that is played with often. Either way, it will cause more bleeding and increase the potential of spreading any infections, so please use caution and be clean. Maintain as sterile an environment as possible. Alcohol and aspirin increase bleeding so it would not be wise to take or use either before this. Make sure your partner doesn't have bleeding disorders. People on blood thinners should really reconsider doing this or even get a hold of a D/s friendly doctor and ask about the risks.

On a good note though, I have read that you can glue feathers to your needles inside the plastic cap on top if you wish to make patterns, such as angel wings, or eagle wings. Just be sure to negotiate the patterns and number of needles ahead of time. So you don't scare the begeepers out of the bottom. Please be safe and happy poking.

Recovery vs escape

I seen a report on the news last eve that stated, hits on the immigration web site for Canada , totaled nearly 150,000 since the re-election of Bush... Guess many agreed with me and want out ..Laughs....Sadly there is a line to gain visas and it takes about a year to get your application viewed and possibly approved , I looked into all this years ago when considering moving to Toronto , when I visited a submissive there...(another story)...Now since many realize they can't escape North , and south generally is not palatable to some. The best choice is Recovery. Today is the time to begin preventing the eventual destruction that Bush is going to cause..We need to wake the sleeping masses , before they march off the cliff completely, and into the vast darkness ...Take a Stand!!!

Ashamed

Here it is Nov 3 , I awoke and searched out the election results in the local news rags..Online...Frowns. For The first time in my life I am ashamed to be an American, disappointed that most have turned to sheep and are willing to follow blindly into darkness and destruction..You all deserve what you get!!!

Social Change

What exactly effects social change? Voting for those to be placed in power , who would do the best good for us in the present. Or instead voting for those who will make long term changes , with small deeds.. Is it just the people we put in power , or is it perhaps truly us who make the difference? Choices our elected officials make effect everyone, but the same can be said of our own personal choices.. I have carefully steered away from political rants here , because my opinions as well as yours , makes a difference...They effect someone in some way , rather by infuriating them , or inspiring them. Words of choice prevent misunderstanding, hurt, bigotry & hatred.. That is why I "don't" share political views often, yet I champion causes that I believe effect us all, in more ways than we can fathom.. Here in Utah amendment 3 is such .. It will effect all of us both good and bad , if passed or "not"... This is why we need to begin social changes with ourselves, get out on Nov 2nd and take a stand for your beliefs, and effect changes for everyone's future...Make a difference , get involved in life and the world, and most importantly your local communities...

Free Choice

Can we actualy have free choice in a Republican dominated LDS state? Sure as long as we keep it to ourselves.. This is the most common belief I run into when meetings others..Yet being acepted is not so hard as long as you don't flaunt it or , say it too loudly in the wrong places , many here what you say and igor it all at once because , they can not possibly belive all that is taught to them , and in grained since birth , could possibly not be the whole truth, possibly not totally right.. Exclusion is a fact, this is not a society of inclusion , unless you are apart of the community of BDSM , and then at that , it is sub families , gay, lesbian, het,trans...the whole , but with our free choice , we have not yet made the choice to unite in our activities. Oh yes we do things together for the good of the community , but we do not socialize as much together.. Partly because those of the sub families do not mix and play at parties together... There needs to be more inter action ..Free choice to participate together, getting to know our brothers and sisters..

Modified Content

This particular rant has been modified to fit the space it exists in, Portions may not be suitable for viewing by Non consenting Adults..Parental Guidance is recommended, and encouraged...Faith Based Politics, Oxymoron? No The religious right has a crusade , and we all unknowingly have joined, and like sheep lead to the slaughter , have bitten in hook line and sinker..Or so The Republicans , and the religious sect have us all believing... "The Middle Ages were an era of mysticism, ruled by blind faith and blind obedience to the dogma that faith is superior to reason. The Renaissance was specifically the rebirth of reason, the liberation of man's mind, the triumph of rationality over mysticism a faltering, incomplete, but impassioned triumph that led to the birth of science, of individualism, of freedom." For years the separation of church and state has been under attack by the Religious Right, which has called for bans on pornography, oral sex between consenting adults, and abortions--in opposition to the right to free speech, the right to liberty, and a woman's right to her body. Such attempts to legislate religion have not had much success--until now. Witness the Bush-led crusade to destroy a crucial scientific field: human cloning--including "therapeutic cloning" research, which many scientists believe has the potential to save millions of lives. Therapeutic cloning does not violate anyone's rights--its only "victims" are 150-cell embryos--but Bush seeks to prohibit it because it violates his Christian beliefs in the moral sanctity of embryos and the moral evil of man "playing God." If Bush succeeds in banning cloning, he will not only have committed a massive violation of the rights of the creators and potential beneficiaries of this technology--he will have established that in the Land of the Free, science may function only by permission of religion, our President is mounting an unprecedented attack on secular government--at a time when America is under attack by religious terrorists supported by religious regimes--is morally obscene. Those of us who value liberty must righteously repudiate Bush's faith-based initiative, and rebuild the wall between church and state. The First Amendment established what Thomas Jefferson termed a "wall of separation" between Church and State--a deliberate break with the then-standard European practice of establishing an official church by governmental edict and supporting it by taxes. The purpose of Church & State separation was to protect the right to disagree in matters of religion: to ensure that the power of the government would never be used to force a person to profess or support a religious idea he does not agree with. Government officials may make whatever religious pronouncements they wish, on their own--but they may not use the power of the government to promote their ideas. On religion or any other topic, an individual's ideas are the matter of his own mind, decided by the application (or misapplication) of his own rational faculty. To force a man to adhere to a particular doctrine is to subvert the very faculty that makes real agreement possible and meaningful, and thereby to paralyze his mechanism for recognizing truth. Conservatives, who properly argue against public support for secular ideas, endorse the use of publicly funded institutions to promote religious ideas. Liberals, who properly object to religious displays on public property, advocate public funding for their pet ideas. It's politics without mirrors: each group feels free to attack its opponents for violating rights, as long as they don't have to notice that they are committing the exact same crime. This so-called "Culture War" truly is a war: a war against the individual mind. It is a particularly dirty kind of war, with both sides of the political spectrum vying for the right to enslave the minds of legally disarmed victims, and to do it by means of money expropriated from the victims themselves . The only way to end this war is to re-assert the First Amendment, with its guarantee of intellectual freedom--and the only way to do that, is to get the government out of the business of supporting ideas. President Bush needs to be re-elected, Republicans need to gain enough seats in the U.S. Senate to stop Democratic filibusters of Bush's extreme judicial nominations, and 2-4 justices need to retire from the U.S. Supreme Court. Then the president, with consent from a Republican-controlled Senate, could give the country a Scalia Supreme Court. At that point it's possible that the Religious Right could control all three branches of the United States government. As for the present, Senate Republicans are unable to rally the sixty votes required to end filibusters, many recent court decisions have upheld the principle of separation of church and state, and Democracy still has a fighting chance. Christianization of the Republican Party, an article from the The Christian Statesman, claims, "Once dismissed as a small regional movement, Christian conservatives have become a staple of politics nearly everywhere. Christian conservatives now hold a majority of seats in 36% of all Republican Party state committees (or 18 of 50 states), plus large minorities in 81% of the rest, double their strength from a decade before. "The Christian Statesman" is a publication of the National Reform Association. Who is the National Reform Association?

"The mission of the National Reform Association is to maintain and promote in our national life the Christian principles of civil government, which include, but are not limited to, the following:

"Jesus Christ is Lord in all aspects of life, including civil government.

"Jesus Christ is, therefore, the Ruler of Nations, and should be explicitly confessed as such in any constitutional documents. The civil ruler is to be a servant of God, he derives his authority from God and he is duty-bound to govern according to the expressed will of God.

"The civil government of our nation, its laws, institutions, and practices must therefore be conformed to the principles of Biblical law as revealed in the Old and New Testaments."

How did this happen? "With the apathy that exists today, a small, well-organized minority can influence the selection of candidates to an astonishing degree." "If just 10% of all Christians in America today woke up and realized how easy it is, got involved consistently for the long haul, it would not take long to reform America completely.""Believe it or not, it could be done within ten years. Every godly representative in the state legislatures and the Congress could ... Work with a godly president. New judicial appointments would begin radically changing ... The courts ... One thing of great importance is for you to fulfill your Biblical duty to choose a godly representative by getting involved in local party politics for the rest of your life." If this does not scare you it should , frankly it scares the hell out of me , rebirth of the dark ages in the age of technology and freedom we are submitting to be enslaved, and ruled by religion on a fanatical level not before possible , yet here we are! Decide for yourself.... And please Vote ...

About Me?

http://tinyurl.com/5xejc I don't place much validity in these type of tests, yet I presume it gives a sort of insight into a person , gained through how they answer .Truth is the key , so check this out and judge for yourself..

Fresh Meat

Last eve I attended a reception put on in honor of "X" and "Flame Dancer"..Presenters from Dallas here to entail knowledge from experiences they have gained in the BDSM Lifestyle.. There was excellent service provided by the new group being mentored in the local community...And great conversation broke out every where, on any number of subjects..One such conversation, among a group of us , sought to learn more about the scene in Dallas where X was from. Seems a mentoring program has not taken hold in Dallas , and it was related that when they were first invited to our community to present , there were thoughts of bewilderment, not knowing if the local scene was really present in a place known more as a Mormon Headquarters...It appears that not only are we for real , but that we enjoy a level of participation and unity , because of such mentorship programs, that makes us somewhat unique, exciting and fun..Many communities have competing groups with in them , and many communities are at each others throats because they lack civility and respect for each members place and value in the community.. Mentorship is the ultimate way to ensure the future of our communities, ensuring safety and common sense , by educating those we will share our wares with , and in turn will share the knowledge we present to them in the future from their point of view..."Fresh Meat" is our most valued commodity..

A SadoMasochist Relationship??

It's too easy to take things for granted, to not be fully present in each moment of life.

Most people who are in this scene spend a lot of time negotiating sexual activity before they engage in it. It certainly is something that involves a lot of thinking, a lot of planning and its a cerebral version of sexual activity.

People in the SM community point out a few things. They point out that individuals who get involved in SM scenes usually plan the scene ahead of time, they negotiate it, "no means no!", there's no exchange of bodily fluid, and often doesn't involve any kind of penetration in terms of genitals anyway...And that would put SM in one of the most safe of sexual expressions that people could engage in. A lot of SM scenarios involve at least creating the impression of danger. Which seems to add or heighten the excitement of the scene. And pain and danger often are closely linked.

If you really talk to masochists, most of them will tell you that pain is the means to an end. And that pain is not really what they're interested in, what they're interested in is the idea of giving themselves totally to someone else and being completely at their mercy.

People develop certain scenarios or events which are crucial for sexual arousal. A sadist usually will not be aroused by controlling someone who does not want to be controlled. Those are what we call the non-criminal sadists. And what they are aroused by is the fact that they are able to cause the masochist to become aroused (seemingly) against their will or even if they don't want to..And it's that ability to provoke sexual arousal in someone else which is very arousing for them. And if you think about it that's not so far from what turns on most so called "normal" people too. As a Sadist you have to know: where to cut, how to pierce, all the body's pressure points, how to tie and how to bind and still protect tender joints, how to use a whip good enough , that its as nice as being kissed. How to play with fears, deal with crying and anger. The term "sadism" derives from French medical literature of the early 19th century in connection with the writings of the Marquis de Sade whose novels depict scenes of torture, cruelty and killing for erotic purposes. Krafft-Ebing, in his 1886 Psychopathia Sexualis, later defined sadism as: "The experience of sexual, pleasurable sensations (including orgasm) produced by acts of cruelty, bodily punishment afflicted on one's person or when witnessed in others, be they animals or human beings. It may also consist of an innate desire to humiliate, hurt, wound or even destroy others in order, thereby, to create sexual pleasure in ones self" (p.109).Schrenck-Notzing (1895) coined the term algolagnia (pain craving) and divided the category into active and passive forms, conceptualizing them as two poles of the same disorder (ie sadism and masochism respectively). Eulenberg (1911) expanded this definition to include psychological as well as physical pain (ie. Humiliation).Karpman (1954, p. 10) proposed that, in the sadist, "the will to power is sexually accentuated" and that "he revels in the fear, anger and the humiliation of the victim." Hence, pain is not that important in and of itself but because it symbolizes power and control. Fromm (1977) suggested that the "core of sadism ... is the passion to have absolute and unrestricted control over living beings, ... Whether an animal, child, a man or a woman. To force someone to endure pain or humiliation without being able to defend himself is one of the manifestations of absolute control, but it is by no means the only one. The person who has complete control over another living being makes this being into his thing, his property, while he becomes the other beings god" (p.383-4). Dietz, Hazelwood and Warren (1990, p. 165) reported a strikingly similar personal account given by a sadist. Brittain (1970) and MacCulloch, Snowden, Wood & Miller (1983) also emphasized the central importance of the eroticized feelings of power and control. Mild sadism in a consensual sexual relationship (eg. S&M) and the major category involving injury or worse, usually in a non-consensual relationship. In both, the element of pain to the victim is the sexual stimulus. Mild sadism, referred to as S&M, bondage & discipline, or dominance & submission a specialized subculture in the BDSM community, and in large cities networks exist for those who have this interest. Sexual sadists of both sexes often seek out masochistic partners. Sexually sadistic behavior in these consensual cases may involve:role playing with dominant and submissive roles: master-slave, governess-pupil, etc. the dominant partner placing the submissive one in a position of helplessness and then applies some form of discipline or punishment, usually accompanied by verbal degradation use of gags and blindfolds to render the submissive partner helpless and immobile the administration of pain, humiliation or bondage is effected through such acts as whipping or flagellation, usually applied to the buttocks and upper back; cross-dressing the submissive partner; treating the submissive like an animal and/or making him/her crawl; confining the submissive to a cage; humiliated by being forced to wear a diaper or lick the dominant's boots; binding or clamping the breasts/nipples/penis of the submissive; urinating or defecating on the submissive and forcing ingestion on the victim

(Major sexual sadism, on other other hand, is usually not consensual and involves injury or death to the victim. The element of fear in the victim and complete control of the victim is the major sexual stimuli in major sexual sadism.)

Kinsey et al (1953): determined that 3-12% of women and 10- 20% of men admitted to responding sexually to sadomasochistic narratives. Crepault and Couture (1980): found a 14.9% incidence of fantasies of humiliating a woman and 10.7% of beating up a woman when they surveyed a group of men in the general population. Arndt, Foehl and Good (1985) found that 33% of women and 50% of men had sexual fantasies of tying up their partner. Note: It is not clear whether these represent sustained, preferred activities or part of a repertoire of activities that may be carried out from time to time. Hunt (1974) found that 5% of men and 2% of women reported they obtained sexual gratification from inflicting pain .Masochism involves humiliation, or being made to suffer. Sexual masochism may be more common in males, but the incidence in females appears to be on the rise. Masochists often seek partners to tie them up, humiliate, blindfold, or hurt them. They may enjoy being whipped, beaten, shocked, cut, or pierced. Verbal abuse is common. Some masochists require pain or humiliation in order to function sexually. They may act on their urges by hurting themselves or tying themselves up. Other masochists may engage in more typical sexual activities at some times and masochistic activities at other times. Most masochists begin having fantasies about these activities in childhood or adolescence. They usually begin experimenting with partners by early adulthood. Some people may engage in masochistic acts without increasing the severity for many years. Others may need to increase the severity over time. An occasional mild or light form of sadomasochism (or S& M for short), is considerably common among the general population. Many people often enjoy being mildly dominant or submissive during lovemaking. They believe that it makes the experience more enjoyable. But when S&M becomes the dominating feature of a person's sexuality, that is when he or she is considered deviant. Unlike other paraphilias, sadomasochism includes a large population of women as well as men. They are nearly equally balanced in number. A paraphilia known as masochism is characterized by the desire or need to inflict pain and or humiliation, so that sexual arousal and fulfillment may be achieved. The term "masochism" refers to an Austrian historian and author, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836-1895), who wrote various stories of male submissiveness. These stories consisted of men who received sexual pleasure by having their female partners inflict pain upon them (Ernulf&Innala, p635). A masochist may receive sexual gratification from several different types of pain and or humiliation. Some of these types may include being spanked, being whipped, being made to perform humiliating acts, being rudely insulted, being blindfolded, being disciplined, and being restrained (Rathus, Nevid, &Fichner-Rathus, p545). Being physically bound or restrained is most commonly called sexual bondage and it is a part of bondage and discipline, where discipline refers to psychological restraining, such as control, training, and nonphysical punishment (Ernulf&Innala, p637). Some forms of masochism can also be lethal, such as hypoxyphilia. Hypoxyphilia is a fairly common practice where a person chooses to enhance their sexual arousal by voluntarily depriving himself or herself of oxygen. In order to become deprived of oxygen, people usually use plastic bags, rope, or their partner’s hands to choke their partner once consent is given. This practice is dangerous and can possibly even result in a tragic death (Rathus, Nevid, &Fichner-Rathus, p545-546). Masochism's counterpart, sadism, is the complete opposite for many reasons. Sadism is a parphilia, which is characterized by the association of sexual satisfaction with the infliction of pain or humiliation onto others. The term sadism refers to a French author and philosopher, Marquis de Sade (1740–1814). Marquis de Sade wrote stories of people who became sexually aroused by inflicting pain or humiliation on others. Some of his best known works are Justine (published in 1791) and Juliette (published in 1797). A sadist receives sexual gratification by role-playing. They usually play the authority figure who inflicts pain, humiliates, disciplines, and plays master to another person (Ernulf&Innala, p637). Most sadists hurt and humiliate willing partners who are usually masochists...Even HBO has frequently shown different specials that include sadomasochism as the main topic of discussion. They are attempting to teach people what it is all about, so that they have can begin to have a better understanding of it, and are more accepting. Although if one possesses these sadomasochistic tendencies, it might be far healthier for them to act out those feelings, rather than to keep them bottled up inside of them. However there always remains the more conservative element that will find such sexual behavior as degrading and immoral. Some groups may be so daring as to say that such acts of immorality may be classified as satanic in nature. Luckily, today there are now many places in which one may visit in order to act out his or her fantasies in discretion and secret. These establishments allow for the exercise of these practices in seclusion. Many psychologists believe that it is healthy for sadomasochists to be able to unleash these desires. If these desires are not expressed, it may lead to repressed violent tendencies. Note: There is a big difference between hurt. And injure, for hurt heals , but injury may take some time to do so. Thus when those who practice Sadomasochism, play they do so in a safe manner with informed consent.

The Truth of Honesty

I invite everyone to participate in a research program by the Kinsey institute. But be fore warned this questionnaire requires total honesty to produce accurate results, and the questions are intentionally personal in nature.. Integral to the Kinsey institutes mission is a research program that fosters diverse, creative approaches to significant questions in the field of sex research. Visiting scholars add to the interdisciplinary dialogue. http://www.indiana.edu/~kinres/mart2/

Holidays Again

As the holiday season approaches , so do memories of past experiences , and plans of present celebrations to come , travel mixed with spending , jumbled in with times both bad and I suppose good... Holidays mostly joyful events , can be the most stressing and saddening times we all experience.. As life progresses events fracture the innocence of the day, that over took us in our youth. Remember when we were kids , and everything was "w o w ! " ? Well some where wow was replaced with "ugh" another one of those , gatherings , or another haunted house? Why?.... The loneliness of being together , yet still we plan these events ... Yearly reminders of those whom are not with us any longer. Of all the holidays, at least, Halloween is the one enjoyable one, because of the faces of innocence that appear at the door , those who still have "W O W!!! ", and the largest smiles you have ever seen( when they receive treats) . Then comes Thanks Giving , for some football Nirvana, for many though, both a day of family members. And/or, friends we don't purposely hang out with a lot, mixed with plain old gluttony. By the end of dinner we are more stuffed, than the turkey was...( oh the weeks of fasting ahead to loose the weight gain)... Then comes Christmas, which if you have kids, or are with someone, who has the spirit of one in them still, its just a day to remember the times of your youth. And have a drink, and a good cry for things lost.. Next comes The New Year. The beginning of the rest of your life. A time to party and celebrate making it through the past year; a live even! For some its a chance to set Resolutions , that no one ever achieves...Mostly its just the first day off of the new work year, which in this state seems to be less and less each year..(Only Holidays?)...

Social Misconceptions

mas·tur·ba·tion (măs′t r-bā sh n.) Excitation of one's own or another's genital organs, usually to orgasm, by manual contact or means other than sexual intercourse. In Greek and Roman society of the time, bisexuality was regarded as quite natural; people in some walks of society were expected to engage in bisexual relations. Since most of them were heterosexual, bisexual activity would be against their personal nature. A current example of this type of behavior is the practice by a few women at some women's colleges to be "lugs" (Lesbians Until Graduation); they engage in same-sex activity because the university culture expects it of them. After they graduate, they revert to heterosexual behavior. This would be condemned because it is against their nature. These verses describe how a Roman centurion asked Jesus to cure his pais who lay paralyzed and in great agony. The centurion stated that all Jesus had to do was to say the right words to effect the cure. Jesus praised the centurion for his faith. The Greek word pais contains the suggestion of a young male slave kept for sexual purposes by his owner. The English word "pederasty" comes from "pais". Various versions of the Christian Scriptures have suppressed the sexual component of the term and translated the word simply as a "servant boy", "serving boy", "young servant" and "my boy." A current relationship of this type would be considered child sexual abuse, a serious crime. However, such arrangements were common in the Roman Empire at the time, and were tolerated by society. It is worth noting that Jesus condemns neither the master-slave status, nor the same-sex relationship, nor the obvious abuse by an adult having sex with a minor.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another, Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

God created each of us with a sexual orientation. To attempt to change it is, in effect, telling God that He created us wrong. The creation (us) does not have the right to "re-create" itself.

Some interpret the "men with other men" clause to be a translation of the original Greek word for "pederasty" which was commonly practiced at the time by adult males with male children (often slaves). Thus Paul might have been criticizing child sexual abuse.

Traditionally, translators have carried their own beliefs about sexual orientation to this verse and interpreted the passage accordingly. The passage appears to be somewhat vague, and may not have been intended to be a blanket prohibition of same-sex activities. It's time America realized that there was no gay exemption in the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in the Declaration of Independence. Discrimination against gays or anybody else is contrary to each of these founding principles. Barry Goldwater, former Republican presidential candidate and Senator from Arizona, 1994

New Morality

Throughout nearly all its history and in some sections of the Church today, the myth of Adam and Eve (called without justification the "Fall of Man" This was never suggested by Jesus, but seems to have come from Paul; see Romans 5, v. 12-14) is treated as though it were historical fact on which logical arguments can be built. In this way, sexuality came to be regarded as necessarily polluted with sin in that event. Even when rejected as historical fact, this myth still has its effect upon the attitude of some Christians to sexuality; it will therefore be wise to think more about it. First, this, like other myths, had an earlier Babylonian origin and was used for religious purposes by the Jewish teachers. Further, like all myths, it is a poetic and symbolic representation of the condition and predicament of man. It is not exclusively or even primarily concerned with sexuality. It is a myth representing the transition of man, either in his racial history (phylo genesis) or his development from babyhood (onto genesis) from an unreflective obedience to instinct to a condition in which he is responsible for his actions, in which he can reflect on them and make judgments and moral choices, weighing up possible courses of action in the light of a concept of good and evil.

It will be relevant at this point to refer to the history of the Church's attitude toward sexuality throughout the centuries, and to elements in that attitude that seem inconsistent with some of the deepest insights in the Bible.

It is a story, not of man's fall, but of man's growing up, and of the pain that growing up involves. It is significant that God is recorded as saying (Gen. 3, v. 22): "Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil. To recognize and love what is good is to know also what is evil, to fear it and to be tempted by it. To know the good is to know joy, but it is also to experience pain, to be tempted to pride and presumption". It is unfortunate that sexual intercourse takes place between Adam and Eve only after the expulsion from the Garden; this perhaps provides an excuse for thinking that sexual intimacy is associated with a sinful and disobedient state. The shame associated with nakedness immediately after the eating of the fruit of the tree of knowledge need not imply that sex became tainted there and then with sin: it may imply a recognition that our sexuality more than anything else in us can lift us to the heights of self-realization or plunge us into degradation; it is the focus of our self-awareness. The awareness of nakedness may further be a symbol of the awareness of vulnerability, of exposure to pain that must come with self-consciousness. No doubt from the earliest days of Christianity there have been men and women for whom the sexual relationship was illumined and deepened by the Christian message of love, for whom it expressed a true equality, an equal-sided valuation and respect, for whom coitus was an expression of tenderness and unity, not merely the gratification of animal urges. In contrast to this, for fifteen hundred years almost every writer and leader in the Church, both Catholic and Reformed, regard sexuality as unavoidably tainted with sin, and the sex-relationship in marriage (apart from procreation) as a licensed outlet for the bestial impulses in man. This latter concept of marriage is overwhelmingly repulsive to many of us now, yet it is no exaggeration to say that it has lingered in the Church to the present day. I have then to reject the idea that there is anything necessarily sinful about sexual activity. A better understanding of the nature and value of myth, and a more scientific approach to problems of human behavior, have delivered many Christians from this oppressive and destructive idea. Sexual activity is essentially neither good nor evil; it is a normal biological activity which, like most other human activities, can be indulged in destructively or creatively. Further, if we take impulses and experiences that are potentially wholesome and in a large measure unavoidable and characterize those as sinful, we create a great volume of unnecessary guilt and an explosive tension within the personality. When, as so often happens, the impulse breaks through the restriction, it does so with a ruthlessness and destructive energy that might not otherwise have been there. A distorted Christianity must bear some of the blame for the sexual disorders of society.

It is clear that we need a much deeper morality, one that will enable people to find a constructive way through even the most difficult and unpredictable situations a way that is not simply one of withdrawal and abnegation. There are many who say that when people find themselves in a situation where it is difficult to be consistently moral, they must practice self-denial and "bear their cross". This is often the right way; but it is a serious misconception of the Church to suggest that it is related only to self-denial. It is the awareness that the traditional code, in itself, does not come from the heart; for the great majority of men and women it has no roots in feeling or true conviction. I have been seeking a morality that will indeed have its roots in the depths of our being and in our awareness of the true needs of society. Perhaps my last words should be to those, equally aware of the tragedy, who may be distressed and put off by our rejection of a morality that has seemed to them a product of Society's Decline. I do know, from the intimate experience of several of us, that it is possible to give substance to the traditional code, to live within its requirements, enriched by an experience of love at its most generous and tender, and conscious of our debt to Christianity in showing us what love implies. I would ask those who cannot easily follow my thoughts to recognize what has driven us, to trying to live up to the high standard of integrity that our religious society asks of us, to my insistent questioning.

Killing trees

Or the (Final Final Final Draft) .. Ok only a select few will understand that , but try the best you can , sometimes it's too hard to get things just exactly right the first time. Be it dear John letters , love letters, or that ever so important report.. You know the one everyone is counting on to make or break their day... There usually is a second or third chance to get things right , in most cases , but in some its best not to try and try again...Take marriage, its hit or miss at best. But still goals start with an idea , that has to be achieved through many tries, life is like that ..When at first you don't succeed.... You know the saying....But this has strayed from the topic "killing trees" ..That is the goal of this blog , to stop killing trees , printing out my rants instead typing to electronic oblivion, a semi permanent record of moments of insanity , or is it clarity?

Same Sex marriages

Many people have issues with same sex marriages, I am not one of them , I am not the kind of person that sees anything wrong with two people kissing in public, for me it is natural and nurturing to view acts of love and devotion , shared moments of happiness. A lot of society sees same sex couples from skewed hearts and minds , altered by in grained religion, an up bringing, which is a result of those who interrupt it, and translate it biased as they are...Just like racist comments , and gender slurs, hatred , bigotry, and any kind of discrimination is just un-natural and wrong! And sadly many Homophobes just do not get it, because they are,"I" suppose not confident in themselves while presented with such behavior. Relationships are complicated at best. But with the added pressures of societies views, the ordinary stumbling blocks of finance , communication, compatibility, get exaggerated . And love a natural nurturing act becomes "dirty", why? The only possible way same sex relationships could have any effect on my life or any one else's, is to improve it ! Removing hatred and replacing it with love and affection binds community and society more closely. I offer as example the local BDSM community, ( which at present is divided by ideals) yet in the divided groups there still resides in the community as a whole a kindship and network of support, loving and caring for each of its parts making the whole. Each sub group of the community is closely tied together in their daily lives . Resulting in a family ( a term I once heard "Family of choice"), not blood related , yet at times more closely entwined...

will the world ever grow up

What is it that makes so many insecure in whom they are ? That they have to spread hatred and discrimination upon the world? All because others are being whom they are . Who gave them the right to hate and discriminate? When did the Religious "select" become the dominate species and the moral character for us all??? Yes I'm dissapointed , hell out right pissed off!!! Every one reguardless of sexual orientation, gender , race, and yes even religious belief , has the right , the obligation ! To live their life free of pursecution... When is it the world will finally grow up and learn to "live and let live" ?

Is SM taboo

Our society (as do most societies) tends to ostracize the different. If you don't fit the mold, you're weird and dangerous. People into SM don't fit the mold. This is why there is such pressure to remain anonymous in the scene; people have lost their jobs, partners, children, and liberty by having their sexual preferences revealed to their community. This stems from the same source: lack of understanding of what we do and why, and lack of respect for what is different. Of course, there are plenty of people who just aren't into SM. (Most people, in fact.) There's nothing at all wrong with not being into SM, or with not wanting to be exposed to people who do various forms of SM; many people have emotional issues with some kinds of SM activities and may be repulsed or disturbed by witnessing them. These people should clearly avoid SM . I would hope, however, that even these people would manage to learn about consensuality as it relates to SM, and learn how SM, practiced carefully, is not abuse. People whose moral codes state that all power exchange--consensual or otherwise--is wrong should clearly not be involved in BDSM. Certainly such people have a consistent ethical system that defines BDSM as immoral. Short of such an ethical system, however, it is hard to see how a BDSM relationship is any more intrinsically immoral than a stint in the Army, or a traditional 'death-do-you-part' marriage. As for me, I believe that in a free society, morality requires permitting each citizen to make his or her own choices of how to live, and how to express themselves, including sexually. Sexual rights are human rights. If we lose our freedom to love as we choose, we lose a vital part of what it is to be human. The most extreme forms of SM come closest to the line between consent and non-consent. Most SM people have established safewords which they will use if need be, though if they've known their partners for long, that's rather seldom. Some people, though, do play without safewords--whether because they know their partners well enough to stay within their partners' limits and read their partners' responses, or because they enjoy the rush of playing without an escape clause. This latter sort of play is sometimes known as "consensual non-consensuality," and involves scenes in which the bottom literally cannot escape from whatever the top wishes to do. This is very advanced SM; it requires exponentially more negotiation and introspection, and even then is hazardous. Not many people do this, or want to, but some people do, and find it exhilarating and uplifting. For me personally SM is a connection between partner's on a deeper level, than any other relationships formed through out our lives..

Being BOD 4 UPEX

My becoming a member of the board, for Utah Power Exchange , started a bit unexpectedly. Though the idea intrigued me since becoming a member of UPEX , it was not actually a planned event . Yet there I found myself the new Treasurer of an organization I truly love being part of. Since that event we have held yearly elections , to my surprise the position I hold had no opponents. As a qualifying factor of my surprise , its interesting to note , that I am a person that began to amass a small personal fortune beginning with one of the largest paper routes in Kearns , and by the time I graduated high school and was half way thru college, I was doing better than average . But lost it all, thru divorce ( another rant). From that point on it was a struggle, so much so that eventually thru many events and factors , I actually ended up living on the streets , or more in fact in alleys and on loading docks . The climb back has not been easy , which thankfully is a benefit for it has helped me become more sure of who I am and where I wish to be ( lofty goals and ambitions, but not out of reach for me!), Life is still a payday to payday affair because of the economy and our President , but that's a "Rant" saved for later... Which brings us to the present. And my being on the Board of Directors , in a Financial position -blinks- Thanks goes to all whom elected me , for their confidence in my improvements in the financial records keeping and in me to continue to represent the organization and its members in this capacity. So you ask what brought on all this , it was a blog by our former Secretary, some one who thru the magic of words makes being around her larger than life, We affectingly know her as "Bouncy" because she is affecting! With the words from her finger tips comes the blurring of lines between fantasy and reality , for it matters not when one is immersed with in her writings which is which,all things are or can well be thru the eyes of the writer. Thank you "Bouncy".