Most people who are in this scene spend a lot of time negotiating sexual activity before they engage in it. It certainly is something that involves a lot of thinking, a lot of planning and its a cerebral version of sexual activity.
People in the SM community point out a few things. They point out that individuals who get involved in SM scenes usually plan the scene ahead of time, they negotiate it, "no means no!", there's no exchange of bodily fluid, and often doesn't involve any kind of penetration in terms of genitals anyway...And that would put SM in one of the most safe of sexual expressions that people could engage in. A lot of SM scenarios involve at least creating the impression of danger. Which seems to add or heighten the excitement of the scene. And pain and danger often are closely linked.
If you really talk to masochists, most of them will tell you that pain is the means to an end. And that pain is not really what they're interested in, what they're interested in is the idea of giving themselves totally to someone else and being completely at their mercy.
People develop certain scenarios or events which are crucial for sexual arousal. A sadist usually will not be aroused by controlling someone who does not want to be controlled. Those are what we call the non-criminal sadists. And what they are aroused by is the fact that they are able to cause the masochist to become aroused (seemingly) against their will or even if they don't want to..And it's that ability to provoke sexual arousal in someone else which is very arousing for them. And if you think about it that's not so far from what turns on most so called "normal" people too. As a Sadist you have to know: where to cut, how to pierce, all the body's pressure points, how to tie and how to bind and still protect tender joints, how to use a whip good enough , that its as nice as being kissed. How to play with fears, deal with crying and anger. The term "sadism" derives from French medical literature of the early 19th century in connection with the writings of the Marquis de Sade whose novels depict scenes of torture, cruelty and killing for erotic purposes. Krafft-Ebing, in his 1886 Psychopathia Sexualis, later defined sadism as: "The experience of sexual, pleasurable sensations (including orgasm) produced by acts of cruelty, bodily punishment afflicted on one's person or when witnessed in others, be they animals or human beings. It may also consist of an innate desire to humiliate, hurt, wound or even destroy others in order, thereby, to create sexual pleasure in ones self" (p.109).Schrenck-Notzing (1895) coined the term algolagnia (pain craving) and divided the category into active and passive forms, conceptualizing them as two poles of the same disorder (ie sadism and masochism respectively). Eulenberg (1911) expanded this definition to include psychological as well as physical pain (ie. Humiliation).Karpman (1954, p. 10) proposed that, in the sadist, "the will to power is sexually accentuated" and that "he revels in the fear, anger and the humiliation of the victim." Hence, pain is not that important in and of itself but because it symbolizes power and control. Fromm (1977) suggested that the "core of sadism ... is the passion to have absolute and unrestricted control over living beings, ... Whether an animal, child, a man or a woman. To force someone to endure pain or humiliation without being able to defend himself is one of the manifestations of absolute control, but it is by no means the only one. The person who has complete control over another living being makes this being into his thing, his property, while he becomes the other beings god" (p.383-4). Dietz, Hazelwood and Warren (1990, p. 165) reported a strikingly similar personal account given by a sadist. Brittain (1970) and MacCulloch, Snowden, Wood & Miller (1983) also emphasized the central importance of the eroticized feelings of power and control. Mild sadism in a consensual sexual relationship (eg. S&M) and the major category involving injury or worse, usually in a non-consensual relationship. In both, the element of pain to the victim is the sexual stimulus. Mild sadism, referred to as S&M, bondage & discipline, or dominance & submission a specialized subculture in the BDSM community, and in large cities networks exist for those who have this interest. Sexual sadists of both sexes often seek out masochistic partners. Sexually sadistic behavior in these consensual cases may involve:role playing with dominant and submissive roles: master-slave, governess-pupil, etc. the dominant partner placing the submissive one in a position of helplessness and then applies some form of discipline or punishment, usually accompanied by verbal degradation use of gags and blindfolds to render the submissive partner helpless and immobile the administration of pain, humiliation or bondage is effected through such acts as whipping or flagellation, usually applied to the buttocks and upper back; cross-dressing the submissive partner; treating the submissive like an animal and/or making him/her crawl; confining the submissive to a cage; humiliated by being forced to wear a diaper or lick the dominant's boots; binding or clamping the breasts/nipples/penis of the submissive; urinating or defecating on the submissive and forcing ingestion on the victim
(Major sexual sadism, on other other hand, is usually not consensual and involves injury or death to the victim. The element of fear in the victim and complete control of the victim is the major sexual stimuli in major sexual sadism.)
Kinsey et al (1953): determined that 3-12% of women and 10- 20% of men admitted to responding sexually to sadomasochistic narratives. Crepault and Couture (1980): found a 14.9% incidence of fantasies of humiliating a woman and 10.7% of beating up a woman when they surveyed a group of men in the general population. Arndt, Foehl and Good (1985) found that 33% of women and 50% of men had sexual fantasies of tying up their partner. Note: It is not clear whether these represent sustained, preferred activities or part of a repertoire of activities that may be carried out from time to time. Hunt (1974) found that 5% of men and 2% of women reported they obtained sexual gratification from inflicting pain .Masochism involves humiliation, or being made to suffer. Sexual masochism may be more common in males, but the incidence in females appears to be on the rise. Masochists often seek partners to tie them up, humiliate, blindfold, or hurt them. They may enjoy being whipped, beaten, shocked, cut, or pierced. Verbal abuse is common. Some masochists require pain or humiliation in order to function sexually. They may act on their urges by hurting themselves or tying themselves up. Other masochists may engage in more typical sexual activities at some times and masochistic activities at other times. Most masochists begin having fantasies about these activities in childhood or adolescence. They usually begin experimenting with partners by early adulthood. Some people may engage in masochistic acts without increasing the severity for many years. Others may need to increase the severity over time. An occasional mild or light form of sadomasochism (or S& M for short), is considerably common among the general population. Many people often enjoy being mildly dominant or submissive during lovemaking. They believe that it makes the experience more enjoyable. But when S&M becomes the dominating feature of a person's sexuality, that is when he or she is considered deviant. Unlike other paraphilias, sadomasochism includes a large population of women as well as men. They are nearly equally balanced in number. A paraphilia known as masochism is characterized by the desire or need to inflict pain and or humiliation, so that sexual arousal and fulfillment may be achieved. The term "masochism" refers to an Austrian historian and author, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (1836-1895), who wrote various stories of male submissiveness. These stories consisted of men who received sexual pleasure by having their female partners inflict pain upon them (Ernulf&Innala, p635). A masochist may receive sexual gratification from several different types of pain and or humiliation. Some of these types may include being spanked, being whipped, being made to perform humiliating acts, being rudely insulted, being blindfolded, being disciplined, and being restrained (Rathus, Nevid, &Fichner-Rathus, p545). Being physically bound or restrained is most commonly called sexual bondage and it is a part of bondage and discipline, where discipline refers to psychological restraining, such as control, training, and nonphysical punishment (Ernulf&Innala, p637). Some forms of masochism can also be lethal, such as hypoxyphilia. Hypoxyphilia is a fairly common practice where a person chooses to enhance their sexual arousal by voluntarily depriving himself or herself of oxygen. In order to become deprived of oxygen, people usually use plastic bags, rope, or their partner’s hands to choke their partner once consent is given. This practice is dangerous and can possibly even result in a tragic death (Rathus, Nevid, &Fichner-Rathus, p545-546). Masochism's counterpart, sadism, is the complete opposite for many reasons. Sadism is a parphilia, which is characterized by the association of sexual satisfaction with the infliction of pain or humiliation onto others. The term sadism refers to a French author and philosopher, Marquis de Sade (1740–1814). Marquis de Sade wrote stories of people who became sexually aroused by inflicting pain or humiliation on others. Some of his best known works are Justine (published in 1791) and Juliette (published in 1797). A sadist receives sexual gratification by role-playing. They usually play the authority figure who inflicts pain, humiliates, disciplines, and plays master to another person (Ernulf&Innala, p637). Most sadists hurt and humiliate willing partners who are usually masochists...Even HBO has frequently shown different specials that include sadomasochism as the main topic of discussion. They are attempting to teach people what it is all about, so that they have can begin to have a better understanding of it, and are more accepting. Although if one possesses these sadomasochistic tendencies, it might be far healthier for them to act out those feelings, rather than to keep them bottled up inside of them. However there always remains the more conservative element that will find such sexual behavior as degrading and immoral. Some groups may be so daring as to say that such acts of immorality may be classified as satanic in nature. Luckily, today there are now many places in which one may visit in order to act out his or her fantasies in discretion and secret. These establishments allow for the exercise of these practices in seclusion. Many psychologists believe that it is healthy for sadomasochists to be able to unleash these desires. If these desires are not expressed, it may lead to repressed violent tendencies. Note: There is a big difference between hurt. And injure, for hurt heals , but injury may take some time to do so. Thus when those who practice Sadomasochism, play they do so in a safe manner with informed consent.
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